Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
