That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
