he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize