he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize