a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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