Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
