wat bout pragnant strippers??
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
