My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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