All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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