You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Shame - the story of my life.
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