Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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