I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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