Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
