Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
