she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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