Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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