just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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