yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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