a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
