You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
