You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Randomize
