if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
