i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize