the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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