the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
