I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
