Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
