I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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