do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
