why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
