dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
