There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
