Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
