Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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