i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize