***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think I died a long time ago.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
