OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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