i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
