i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
