how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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