Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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