my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
