After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
