i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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