Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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