is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
