Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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