you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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