Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize