There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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