Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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