I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
