Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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