take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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