hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
