can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize