You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
