Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I understand Curling. That high.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
