she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
