Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize