drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
