There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
