8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's never too late to be topless.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize