the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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